So, I start a new job tomorrow. After … how many months now of unemployment? Hm. 3 months … 3 months going on 3 years, it seems.

I am nervous, a bit. Naturally. This field consists of pretty much the antithesis of the training I’ve mastered. However, the specific job I have palatable experience in.

I got fat. I started working out today. Did 40 mins of cardio … Billy Blanks’ revision of Tae-Bo brought me back to high school which I originally thought would be comforting … but I think it rendered the adverse effect. Disappointing. Also: losing the specific equipment required is annoying, to say the least. I’m working up to P90X. My athletic brother pretty much laughed in my face … Which, I don’t really blame him for. I mean, c’mon. There’s such thing as realism and P90X pushes the meniscus on that one where my water level falls fall below that point currently. I just want to get into a healthy lifestyle – For good. Not episodically.

I still want to learn guitar. Acoustic. And learn music theory and write poetry again and lyrics also this time around. Get to know my voice … did you know that your voice (singing at the very least) changes as your weight fluctuates? I don’t have citation for that but a professor of music told me and I have noticed it myself and, believe me, I know about fluctuating weight.

I would feel best about myself if I mastered veganism – but did it right this time around, so I don’t start looking like an overripe peach by Week 3. I mean, I did it in college for at least a semester, but ended up malnourished so that didn’t do much for my health other than slimming me down like no one’s business.

Give yourself permission to work at your own pace.

The above advice has presented itself in my life a couple of different ways recently … and I thought I’d share at the same time as I remind myself. I must remember my own idea that the change that is lasting is slow and thoughtful.

And with that … I’m going to prematurely end this good conversation and take it up soon, but for now: I need to get my sleep for tomorrow’s fresh start.

Goodnight, my beautiful and handsome friends.